My business coach, Hannah, suggested I read Untamed by Glennon Doyle. Actually, she didn’t really suggest it, she just mentioned that it was important to her. Hannah has recommended several books to me, and every one of them has been life changing. So I wondered aloud whether I should read it, too. Hannah looked amused. “Sure,” she said. “Give it a try.”
I’m writing this “book review” here because anyone who is thinking about ending their marriage might find some uncomfortable but helpful ideas when reading Glennon Doyle’s book. The first might be a question: “am I staying in this relationship because I’m afraid of changing my life, or am I staying because the relationship is my best life?” The second might be, “what is the best co-parenting relationship I can have after this marriage is over?”
That amused look on Hannah’s face was because Glennon Doyle is writing primarily for women. The book is even dedicated to “every woman resurrecting herself.” So I’m not her primary audience. But who cares? This book is a terrific challenge to my own status quo, and men like me are likely to find it jarring and interesting and inspiring, too.
Glennon describes feeling like her life was a “cage,” and writes about how she carefully and honestly left her marriage and embarked on a new relationship, marriage, family and identity. What made me think of my clients who are going through divorces – and anyone deciding whether to end their relationship – is the way she has built a new family with her children, her new spouse and her children’s father that is healthier than her old marriage ever was. As she puts it, “After thirty years of contorting myself to fit inside someone else’s idea of love, I finally had a love that fit – custom made for me, by me.”
This story is terrific, and entertaining, and challenging, and anyone who is asking themselves “how did I get here and is this what I’m supposed to be doing with my life” should read it. It’s a great listen on Audible, too.
So I’m trying to avoid the broken places in my life. That’s what I got from Glennon’s book. That’s the part that I think is gold. Most of the ways I’ve been stuck in work and relationships have been from avoidance. Maybe you’ll find this book an inspiration to make some changes in your family relationships too.